“I did it! I actually did it!”
Those were the first words I wrote to my dissertation supervisor when I finished my dissertation. Right before the deadline I might add. Success; it’s such a great feeling, especially when you’ve been convinced that you wouldn’t be able to do it.
After graduation I went home, back to Norway, and had a long vacation. People kept asking me what I was going to do next, if I had applied for any jobs, if I had given the future any consideration at all, and every time they did, I kept telling them that I have a plan, but that I’m currently taking a well deserved summer break. And that was true. Or at least half true.
In truth I was terrified. I had a plan, but so far it was all in my head. That extra long summer break was my way of postponing everything due to the fear of failing.
What if I couldn’t do it? What if I had to work at the local grocery store, or at H&M for the foreseeable future? What if my enormous student loan was all for nothing and all these last years had been a total waste? What if…?
In case you haven’t noticed, I’m the kind that worry a lot about anything and everything.
After my ‘summer break’ I pulled my act together and tried to get a job within photography. I wrote a new CV and sent it out to every photography studio in the area, and I ended up getting a job at the place I wanted the most. Currently I walk around with the title ‘Apprentice’ and, of course, the pay check to go with it, and I love it. My boss is great, and I get to learn more about studio lighting. Plus we have a killer view at the office.
That also mean I’ve been blessed with access to all the equipment I need for some of the projects I’ve had on my mind, and there are quite a few of those. There is so much I want to do, and so many places I want to be. I’ve just go to find the time for it all.
“The reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.”
So far it’s been great, but there is one problem; I haven’t had the time or money for a while, to pursue my biggest passion, Music photography.
At the moment I’m counting every penny, and saving up so I can hopefully head back to London for a concert soon. I’m having withdrawals. I miss it so much.